Sorry ’bout it
Evidence of The Wertheimer Effect continues to surface. Just in the last 24 hours:
You may have already heard about how we got dominated in volleyball by the Mad Ants‘ front office when Allan Wertheimer still worked here. Well, last night at the bowling alley (sans Wertheimer), the TinCaps got their revenge. We looked like a bowling juggernaut in sweeping the Mad Ants’ front office/backcourt in a three-game series. We added Keith Winter to our team, which was like adding PBA legend Pete Weber (in bowling success, inspiration factor and strike celebration). More importantly, Allan’s replacement, Jeff Greer, who claimed “100 is a good game” for him, was rolling 160s consistently. Allan probably averaged in the 110s or so. Even more importantly, Jeff wanted his nickname to be T-Bone, but Tony DesPlaines has that nickname on lockdown already, so naturally, Jeff is now known as Coco.
So, in conclusion, in three days on the job, Jeff Greer already has a better nickname than Allan Wertheimer and has already helped us to more inter-office leisure-sport victories than Allan did in two years. So, you know… Another solid free-agent pickup for the Vikings.
Kidding. Sort of.
Also, while we’re on the topic of nicknames, when did it become OK for people to acquire nicknames for names they don’t even have?
Example: Roy “Doc” Halladay. According to extensive research, the real Doc Holliday was a gambler, gunfighter and dentist in the Old West (which is only important because his career interests are eerily similar to Wolf “the Dentist” Stansson of “D2: The Mighty Ducks” fame). What’s really important is this: Matt “Doc” Holliday would be acceptable, because, you know, Holliday is his last name. Roy “Doc” Halladay is dumb. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.
- The TinCaps’ 12 Days of Christmas at the Orchard Team Store is still going on. Good deals every day. Free shipping all this week. Check it out.
- The Padres’ out-of-house options at first base are dwindling. Lyle Overbay signed with the Pirates and the Orioles are going after Adam LaRoche (who is left-handed and perennially stinks in the first half of the season). Other names still out there: Nick Johnson, Derrek Lee, Jorge Cantu, Troy Glaus, Russell Branyan. Everything I’ve read says Kyle Blanks won’t be ready for Opening Day after Tommy John surgery.
- Carl Pavano is now the biggest prize on the free-agent pitching market. Capitalism is beautiful. For him.
- Nationals reliever Drew Storen is going to a movie premiere and he’s pumped.
- According to this, the Phillies’ payroll is up to $167 million for 2011. Which puts them in Yankees/Red Sox territory.
- Also, Red Sox fans are never allowed to call the Yankees “the Evil Empire” in an economic sense again.
- Matt Stairs signed a minor-league deal with the Nationals. Bummer he’s leaving the Padres.
- A major-league team CUTTING ticket prices? Whaaaaaa?
- In case you’re wondering, my favorite celebration after bowling a strike is the Aaron Rodgers championship belt celebration.
- Heard today Scarlett Johansson is getting a divorce. So you’re telling me there’s a chance.
Musical guest… Joni Mitchell!