It’s legal tender!

This happened way back on Sunday, but I’ve been so fixated on Winter Meetings moves that I haven’t even thought about it until now.

I had been holding onto about two years’ worth of spare change because I’m too lazy to count it (and because it’s impossible to buy less than 100 paper rollers for coins at one time, which is a travesty). I had seen a CoinStar machine at the front of my grocery store, so when I made my weekly trip to the store at halftime of the Sunday Night Football game, I decided to bring my Cosmo Kramer-esque stash of coins and see what kind of damage I could do. Think about it: those coins just sat around forever doing nothing and suddenly, they morphed into $52 to spend on groceries. I was like Michael Scott with $600 in Burlington Coat Factory. I may as well have owned the place.

Think Supermarket Sweep, except you know exactly how much money you can spend. I wanted to buy a side of beef, like the kind Rocky would punch. I was looking at wheels of cheese. Garden hoses. I even went looking around in the electronics section just for fun. Bought some CDs. Looking forward to burning some mixtapes to play my car. I’ll be eating (and living… but mostly eating) like a marginally richer dude for the next two weeks. And all because of turning change into groceries. I had so much fun, I’m thinking about starting a change-counting service to rival CoinStar (they charge almost 10 percent, which is crazy; it’s not like people are actually sitting there counting it by hand). But until I do, try turning your change into groceries. It’s one of the most underrated ways to save/spend money in the world. Because you’re going to end up buying groceries anyway, right?

On an unrelated note, “Chef to the Stars” Scott Kammerer heard the old-guy joke about how many seconds there are in a year. The old guys I talked to said there are twelve (January 2nd, Feburary 2nd, etc.). Scott tried saying there are 24 (January 2nd, January 22nd, February 2nd, February 22nd). We argued about this for about three full minutes before I decided he’s an idiot we’d have to agree to disagree. It’s only a matter of time until he reads this and poisons my food, but at least you’ll know what happened.

On another note, I had been craving Thai food, but hadn’t seen any Thai restaurants in Fort Wayne. Scott tipped me off to Switta Thai Cafe. It’s darn good. Try it sometime. If you’re into that sort of thing.

Random thoughts:

  • A Winter Meetings recap by Jayson Stark.
  • GMs of about 26 teams are getting a little tired of watching big-name free agents go to the same places.
  • Jed Hoyer says the Padres’ priorities right now are finding a first baseman and second baseman. The Jason Bartlett trade still hasn’t gone through, but that would take care of shortstop.
  • Here’s a story about former TinCaps pitching coach Bronswell Patrick’s unique MLB debut. He came in to mop up after a brawl against the Rockies.
  • So what you’re saying is, the Indians could’ve had Tim Lincecum, but the commissioner’s office frowned upon the means of getting him. Excuse me while I set myself on fire.
  • The baseball program at the University of Cal-Berkeley was supposed to be discontinued, but now it might not be. Baseball isn’t a moneymaker at many (if any) colleges, but it’s an important feeder system.
  • Jay Bruce got a contract extension. When he becomes more consistent, he’ll be one of the best outfielders in the game.
  • I keep reading that the Red Sox have a deal in place with Adrian Gonzalez, but aren’t telling anybody until later this month so the Sox can save money against this year’s luxury tax. Makes sense, but Gonzalez denies it.
  • Ken Griffey, Sr., has gone from hitting coach in Dayton to manager at Advanced-A Bakersfield. Interesting.
  • Here’s a pretty accurate dress code glossary for the baseball Winter Meetings.
  • A lesson we broadcasters seem to learn roughly once a year, this time from your Indianapolis Colts: No matter how mad you are, never, ever say overtly dumb things around microphones, even during breaks. Some of us can’t avoid it, though.
  • Dave Hutte hasn’t had an interesting status update in what seems like a decade. I feel like he’s holding back for a major announcement. (Apparently Dave Hutte is the pre-Jayson Werth Washington Nationals. Yikes.) I’ll keep you posted.

Musical guest… Michael Franti!

Have a good weekend!


1 Comment

So I was just recently intoduced to your blog site, and I have to say I was relatively entertained and impressed with your witty tale of change hoarding. Then the honey-moon period abruptly ended with the mathematically inept narrative of the 2nds. I have to say that I need to side with the culinary master, and your first grade math teacher must be disturbed by you inability to correctly count. There are definitely 24 2nds in the month; unless you trace your lineage to a rural one room school house and pronounce it the twenty-tooth day of the month! Of course you don’t. You pronounce it the twenty-SECOND day of the month. Therefore there are 24 2nds in the calendar.

Sincerely, one more IDIOT in the mix.

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