Tirades and tired phrases

I can’t even describe how happy I am to have our first press conference flipout from the 20-o-10 season. In any sport, really. Thank you, Derek Anderson. My favorite part of any tirade is reading the stories with direct quotes from said tirade. Anderson’s “Nothing’s funny to me,” is right up there with Mike Gundy starting a screaming rant with the underrated gem, “This was brought to me by a mother… of children.” And Hal McRae ending his phone-throwing episode with, “Now… stick that in your pipe and smoke it!”

Now, as hilarious as it is for me personally to watch another fan base have to endure Derek Anderson’s stink bombs week after week, I think the reporter was pushing a little too hard on something that didn’t really matter. So the cameras caught him smiling for about five seconds. Would pouting and throwing things make everyone feel better (or make him play better)? I think if he was asked about the context of laughing, Anderson had every right to say, “It’s none of your business,” and stick to that. Anderson catches the heat, but sometimes dumb-sounding answers are provoked by dumb (or poorly-worded) questions.

Why do I love flipouts? Mainly because sports aren’t that important (unless they’re your livelihood), yet it’s the only place we find these kinds of meltdowns. But also because, for once, even if these guys say the dumbest things in the world, at least they’re saying what’s on their mind instead of spitting out Crash Davis’s standard interview cliches.

Maybe my favorite cliche is the one that all started with “Manny being Manny.” You’re not saying anything that’ll end up getting blared all over every media outlet everywhere. In fact, you’re not saying anything at all. If he’s not Manny, then who is he? But at the same time, you’re saying everything. Example: it’s been said, “That’s just Brett being Brett,” in a tone that makes you think they’re saying, “He’s a gunslinger! He’s just a fun-loving kid out there! He’s kooky! We love him!” In reality, they’re usually saying, “This guy is an idiot and we
can’t stand his tired act, but he’s OUR idiot and we deal with him because we can’t win
without him.” If anybody uses this phrase toward you, assume you’re no longer friends.

Random thoughts:

  • Miguel Tejada is going to get paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $6.5 million to play baseball next year. Do you think he’s as surprised as everyone else that he got that much?
  • The Rangers’ Top 10 prospects list is up on Baseball America.
  • Somebody thinks LeBron is a lost cause. Dooooooyyyy.
  • Read this about being a Cleveland sports fan. I dare you.
  • I forgot my cell phone at home today. Just didn’t think to put it in my pocket before I left. And it isn’t the end of the world. It’s like 1999 with way faster internet and less Ricky Martin. Which, all things considered, isn’t that bad.

Musical guest… Ben Harper!

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