No, YOU lock it up!
When you spend an entire summer battling for survival (more literally than I care to discuss) in the swamps of Florida, you tend to keep in touch with the people you met there who were decent human beings. Such is the case with my buddy Matt, who went down in history for his part in the greatest photograph ever taken. Against all odds, a woman agreed to marry him (which gives us all hope) and I’ve been invited to witness the ceremony. Probably because he knows it’s the only way I’d believe it actually happened. Maybe it’s because he’s familiar with my work on the dance floor.
Anyway, the invitation came in the mail the other day. Wedding invitations contain things you don’t see anywhere else in life. First of all, they’re the fanciest things of all time. Has anyone ever been persuaded to go to a wedding because the invitation was nice? Would you decide NOT to go to a wedding if the invitation was written in crayon? If so, you’re the worst friend/family member ever. This particular invitation came in an envelope size I’d never seen before, not even on a greeting card. It had two 61-cent stamps on it, which I didn’t even know existed. Then (in gold print) they “request the honour of your presence” at the ceremony. What? Did we just secretly get transported to Canada? On the RSVP card, the two options are “Accept with pleasure” and “Decline with regret.” I just heard about another wedding where the options were, “Yes, save a spot for me on the dance floor” and “I’m lame and can’t attend.” THAT is a wedding I want to go to. Finally, this particular wedding is in downtown Philadelphia and trolleys will take people from the hotel to the church and back. Which is fitting considering Matt is from San Francisco, a city which recently edged out the Neighborhood of Make-Believe in trolleys per capita.
End of the story: I’m thinking about sending back my RSVP card as a write-in ballot. Save a spot for me on the dance floor. I’m also thinking about asking Allan Wertheimer for tips on wedding etiquette. The guy’s been to more weddings in the last year than Chazz Reinhold.
- The Omaha Royals are getting a new ballpark so they changed their name. Meet the Storm Chasers!
- Maybe you already knew this, but Mitchell Gary McClary has left us and gone to Omaha to be their head groundskeeper. He’s good. So is Mitch’s replacement, Keith Winter.
- In the Midwest League, the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers updated their look a bit.
- Baseball America released the list of top 10 Royals’ prospects. Pretty much everybody thinks it’s the most talented system in baseball.
- The San Diego newspaper released some Padres’ prospect rankings. Eight of the top 10 have played here; Logan Forsythe skipped past us and Donovan Tate is expected to be here in 2011.
- Where in the world (or Florida) is Mike Wickham? If you clicked the last link, you’ll see Wickham, who used to be the Director of Minor League Operations for the Padres, left the organization. The article says he went to the Rays, but I’ve seen elsewhere that he went to the Marlins.
- Speaking of guys who have played here, Dirk Hayhurst of The Bullpen Gospels fame has his own website now, complete with blog.
- Fact: Michael Vick is the second coming of QB Eagles from Tecmo Super Bowl.
Musical guest… Lynyrd Skynyrd!