Sweet Home Ohio

I was booted from my hotel room at 11 a.m. (apparently some people can’t handle this blasting through the hallways before noon). Bus doesn’t leave until 2:30 p.m. Hello, lobby.

Quick recap of the important happenings on this trip:

  • The TinCaps beat Lake County on Saturday, snapping the Captains’ win streak at 9 games.
  • They should’ve won yesterday, but blew two leads and lost, 7-6.
  • When we got into Eastlake on Saturday, there was something we refer to in Ohio as a “slushy mix” falling from the sky. Everyone from south of Virginia was looking around like they’d seen a flying saucer.
  • I’m totally not the guy who goes out of his way to complain about things in a public setting, but a funny story comes out of this: When we got here, the hotel rooms weren’t ready. So we all put our bags into the hotel office and got lunch and then went to the ballpark. When we got back after the game, nobody had the key to get into the office, so our bags were stuck. Two different people were called, supposedly having keys. Neither of them had the right key. Meanwhile, a wedding reception was taking place in one of the hotel’s meeting areas/ballrooms. It took the guys about 30 seconds to start coming up with “Wedding Crashers“-esque backstories to try to get into the reception. My favorite: Guy 1: “OK… We’re sailors and we just got back in from California.” Guy 2: “Right, because you can sail from California to Ohio.” By the time a third person showed up with the right key (and tried about 57 keys before they came up with the right one, which of course was the last one they tried on the entire janitor-esque giant key ring), most people had left to get dinner.
  • While we were waiting in the lobby before leaving for the ballpark, I was telling Bronswell Patrick about the greatest wing restaurant in the universe right down the street from the hotel. Some random guy told me I was wrong, that a different place in front of the hotel had better wings. I flatly told him I didn’t believe him. He seemed offended, but I was offended by him telling me there was a better wing place than Quaker Steak. Sorry, stranger.
  • I went to Quaker Steak with my mom after the game yesterday. It tasted good, but today I don’t feel like moving. I can’t believe I went there so often in high school for all-you-can-eat night, sometimes eating 50 wings at a time, and lived to tell about it.
  • Every time former strength coach Mark Brennan goes to Chipotle, he sends me a picture message showing four gigantic, overloaded tacos. I joked last year that he was the mayor of Chipotle because he gets the largest portions I’ve ever seen, regardless of which location he goes to. One time they made his tacos so big, I thought he was going to get someone fired… The manager asked the worker if it was a double-meat order and she told him it wasn’t. Mark Brennan: profit-killer.
  • I can’t divulge sources, but word on the street is, Mark had that photo airbrushed to erase his double-chin. Possibly a Chipotle-induced double-chin.

That’s it for now.


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