Food, Football, Family and Flammables
First with the baseball… The Topps Class-A All-Stars were released today and there were no TinCaps on the list. At first I was surprised, but then you have to consider three things:
1. There is no distinction between Low-A and Advanced-A, so there are twice as many players to pick from.
2. The Midwest League is thought of as a “pitcher’s league” because of the weather, despite playing a little more fairly this year. It’s still not even close to being as hitter-friendly as the California League, which had four of the nine hitters on the list. In fact, three played for Lancaster, where they had the 33-18 game earlier this year against Lake Elsinore.
3. The guys on the list had some pretty phenomenal numbers, and while the TinCaps had some big-time players this year, they didn’t put up the monster stat lines like some of the guys on the list did. Matt Clark‘s 24 HR / 101 RBI line is close, but no cigar compared to Joe Dunigan’s .294-30-104.
Also, if recent history is any indication, the Red Sox will make a blockbuster trade on Thanksgiving. They’re “putting on the full-court press” to pick up Roy Halladay. Ugh. Hopefully the Jays know to get the ball to the big guy running down the middle of the floor who can then distribute it into the frontcourt for an easy basket.
So tomorrow is another edition of the greatest holiday ever invented, and it’s not even close. Last year I ranked the holidays as if they were up-and-coming prospects…
5. Independence Day
4. New Year’s Eve/Day (BCS era)
1. Baseball’s Opening Day
New Year’s Eve/Day may jump Christmas this year just because Ohio State is playing in the Rose Bowl. There was a time when it would be perennially third on the list, but the BCS and its “National Championship game on January 8th” business has knocked it down a peg.
The point here is this: Thanksgiving is the best federally-recognized holiday of them all. There’s food, there’s football, there’s family and there’s fire. Yes, I said fire. As in a bonfire. And I’m not talking about the country song.
Every year, the night before Thanksgiving in Conneaut, Ohio has become known as “Thanksburning Day”. This is a night where my friends get together, catch up, start a bonfire, then throw virtually anything flammable into the fire to keep it going. Because it’s not held between June and August, there is usually snow, which means snowball fights. So the next morning, you wake up smelling like any combination of burning wood/upholstery, that smell you had in elementary school when you came in from recess with snow thawing in your boots, and the mud that was encased in the snowballs you got hit with. So if you’re out and about tonight in Fort Wayne (or anywhere else, for that matter) and you happen to see a bright sky way off in the distance, it’s not some supernatural phenomenon (although I can understand the confusion)… It’s just the monstrous fire at Thanksburning Day 2009.
Of course, Thanksburning Day is followed quickly by Thanksgiving Day, which is quickly followed by the worst day of the year, if you get into the whole “shopping at 5am to save a few bucks” thing. I don’t know how we go from “food, family, football and fire” to “pre-dawn shopping with large groups of pushy strangers” in a matter of hours, but I don’t like it and don’t participate. In fact, I don’t even go to the grocery store between the hours of 9am-10pm unless I absolutely have to. I would’ve never made it in the days before 24-hour grocery stores.
But if you must go shopping, go to the TinCaps store in the Glenbrook Square Mall. It’s near the food court. Or shop online and avoid the crowds. This is America; do what you want. Just make sure “what you want” means “buying TinCaps stuff in mass quantities.”
That’s about it from here… Before I go, I’ll tell you what I’m most thankful for at this particular instant: An e-mail I just received from anonymous TinCaps staff member with the subject line: GO HOME!
Oh yeah, and I’m thankful for family. And food. And flammables.
And now, musical guest… Adam Sandler!
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Let me know what you think of the new TinCaps’ website in the comments!